Son's letter to mom

Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that
was addressed to "Mom" With the worst premonition she opened the
envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad
and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much
older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having
many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we
will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you
can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Jon



P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.