Long live Bachelors

1. Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life !!

2. Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

3. Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

4. I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

5. Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

6. When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

7. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

8. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

9. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.

10. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
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11. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

12. My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

13. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

14. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

15. Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married. He says "the wedding rings look like minature
handcuffs....."

16. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in!

17.A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "

Man and Woman

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make Your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, -she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,

"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, -she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the story for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen