Marriage

1 Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order
what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had
ordered that.

2 At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married
the wrong man."

3 Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is
finished.

4 Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and
the woman gets her master's status.

5 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for
it."

6 Young son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in most countries son."

7 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married, and then it was too late."

8 A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the
wife takes.

9 When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year
married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair?

10 Married lives are very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and
the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors
listen.

11 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when
I married you." And the Husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice it."

12 A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife wanted". The
next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You
can have mine."

13 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.

14 A woman was telling her friend: "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked.
The woman replied, "A multimillionaire."